Warm Colours Represent Harmony & Cool Colours Represent Restlessness

Children who usually choose warm colours are observed to be more mild, affectionate, and harmonious, while those who choose cool colours tend to be restless, stubborn, irritable, and exhibit aggressive behaviour. This situation can vary during the developmental process, transitioning from warm colours to cool colours, and vice versa.

There is a relationship between the colours children use in their drawings and their emotional responses. You may observe that they use warm colours when drawing pictures they love and cold colours when drawing pictures they dislike. Especially when drawing negative characters, they predominantly use black. The importance of colours is significant not only in emotional development but also in physical development.

The Effects of Colours on a Child’s Emotional and Physical Development

• Red: The intensive use of the colour red in drawings may reflect energy, hatred, violence, intensity, or illness.
• Pink: It is a less impactful colour than red. It represents calmness and happiness.
• Orange: It is a tone of anxiety. Children who predominantly use this colour may be prone to hyperactive development.
• Yellow: The predominant use of this colour represents that your child is peaceful, energetic, and attached to things they love.
• Blue: It represents a sense of trust. Children with a calm demeanour tend to use this colour more intensively in their drawings. They have no difficulty controlling their emotions.
• Green: Children who predominantly use this colour in their drawings can be described as confident, displaying more mature attitudes compared to their peers, and able to control their emotions.
• Purple: It represents a sense of responsibility, a tendency to be controlled by others rather than oneself, and a calm character.

The Language of Colours in Children’s Eyes

Children enjoy seeing colours in every aspect of their lives. Therefore, it is important to make decisions together when choosing clothes and leave the choice of colour when buying toys to them.

You can arrange the room colours in a soothing order when your baby is born. Since the baby will spend most of its time sleeping and resting on the mother’s chest, the colours used in the room should provide peace to both the baby and the mother.

Babies can see bright colours in the neonatal period. Red is their most preferred colour because it is the quickest and easiest colour for them to perceive. You can choose prominent and bright colours in toy selection, although not in decoration.

Your child may not have the same preferences as you when choosing clothes, painting, or buying toys. You should understand this situation with understanding. The variety of colours you choose as parents, the colours you use in your home decor, and the colours you prefer in your clothing also affect your child’s preferences. The more colour options your child has from the beginning, the more enjoyable it will be for them to make their own choices.

Being a playful parent entails incorporating intentional and connected playtime between children and parents into the parenting style. Playing together not only fosters a fun atmosphere at home but also cultivates a strong and deep bond among family members. Playing as a parent offers endless fun and bonding opportunities for both you and your babies alike.

The Benefits of Play

Play can be described as a combination of both enjoyable and learning experiences, regardless of age. Individual differences come to the forefront during play, resulting in experiences that vary from person to person. Regardless of whether it’s a child or an adult, participation in play offers benefits to the participant:

• Encourages connection and secure attachment.
• Makes children feel wanted and accepted.
• Helps develop cognitive skills.
• Boosts a child’s self-esteem and self-respect.
• Supports communication skills and language development.

The Benefits of Play for Parents

While the benefits of play for parents may vary due to individual differences, its importance and contributions are significant for every adult. Some of these contributions include:

• Increases parents’ happiness levels and reduces stress levels through the release of oxytocin hormone during play.
• Playful parents experience positive emotions such as laughter, enjoyment, and happiness more frequently.
• Playful parents establish a secure attachment with their babies and get to know their babies more closely.
• Just like in children, playing also enhances parents’ problem-solving skills and mechanisms.
• Strengthening of relationships and bonds in the family and social context is also one of the significant contributions of playing for parents.
• Fosters success in interpersonal relationships.
• Lastly, one of the most significant effects of playing on parents is its association with high life satisfaction.

How to Become a Playful Parent

The only thing required to become a playful parent is willingness. Every individual aware of the importance of play and wanting to include it in their life knows the contribution of play to the relationship they establish. However, there are also some prerequisites to becoming a playful parent, such as:

• Not caring about what people think
• Having sense of humour
• Seizing opportunities for play
• Being creative
• Being spontaneous
• Being curious
• Being able to laugh

However, being a playful parent doesn’t mean playing with toys all the time. Being a playful parent is a parenting style that affects daily life and behaviours in the long term. If you wonder “How can I be playful?” you can benefit from our suggestions:

• Jump to the bathroom while brushing teeth.
• Speak rhythmically and sing while talking.
• Use gestures and mimics while reading books.
• When changing nappies, put a clean nappy on your head and be funny.
• Play a guessing game about what’s for dinner.
• Race to see who will go to the door first.
• Guess how many people are in the restaurant.
• Determine a unique way to greet each other.
• Give each other fun nicknames.
• Draw something on your child’s back with your fingers while bathing and ask them to guess what it is.
• Use the shopping cart at the supermarket.
• Use the sock as a puppet and create a story.
• Act like you’re wearing shoes upside down and smile.
• Have a pillow fight and throw yourself to the ground.
• When you go to the park, play with toys with your child.

To be a playful parent, the above suggestions can be diversified. It’s quite easy to include play in daily activities. By smiling and having a bit of fun, developing the skill of being a playful parent filled with laughter and a bit of unusual behavior is possible.

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However, understanding that being a playful parent doesn’t mean saying yes to everything, being permissive, not setting boundaries, or being weak is essential. Being a playful parent means being able to establish a strong bond through play and enjoy life to the fullest.

We wish you to increase your enjoyment of life through play!

Tantrums, which all parents face from time to time, especially increase during certain stages of development. Rather than focusing on and criticising negative behaviour in children, the first step is to appreciate positive behaviour.

If tantrums occur more frequently than expected for developmental stages if the child is causing harm to themselves or others, and if they persist for a long time, seeking help from a professional is advisable.

When a child is having a tantrum, becoming even angrier, shouting at the child, using derogatory language, hitting, or punishing them in any physical way is not appropriate.

What Do We Understand by Tantrums in Children? What Are the Causes?

Every person gets angry many times throughout their life. Therefore, anger is a common occurrence in every child, regardless of their temperament. Anger is an intense negative emotion that we frequently encounter and is not solely attributed to a single cause. Sometimes, anger episodes, which we also call tantrums, involve exaggerated and uncontrollable behaviours that can harm oneself and others, beyond simple annoyance or anger.

Considering this definition, we cannot say that anger has a single cause. Additionally, it would not be correct to claim that every anger episode has a serious underlying psychological reason. Failure to regulate oneself and expressing negative emotions inappropriately are among the most common reasons for tantrums in young children. Externally, frustration is the most common trigger for tantrums. Not getting what they want or being unable to cope with the current negative emotion can be reasons for getting angry. So, sometimes, children can express their extreme unhappiness through tantrums, or they can exhibit tantrums due to intense sibling jealousy. Additionally, familial factors can also lead to tantrums because we can list all situations that could disrupt the relationship between children and their parents and increase conflict. These include depression or chronic illness in the mother, low quality of caregiving, inadequate parenting skills, chaotic family structure, domestic violence, and so on.

In Which Age Groups Are Tantrums Most Common?

Tantrums can occur in children of all age groups. However, when developmental stages are examined, it is known that they mostly begin between 2-3 years old, increase between 3-6 years old, decrease during the school years, and reappear during adolescence in a different form.

The age of two is the period of individuation and independence. Therefore, in healthy children, around the age of two, stubbornness, power struggles, and opposition typically begin to manifest.

Especially in the preschool period before school, tantrums are more common, and since it is more challenging to work with a child’s anger during this period, more responsibility falls on the parents.

Regulation disorders, which we also call emotional regulation problems, are common from infancy onwards. Since their neurobiological maturity is not yet sufficient, young children cannot regulate themselves. Good examples of this include children becoming cranky when they are very tired or crying because they are hungry, even though their stomachs are full.

How Should Families Respond to Tantrums?

Teaching a child to control their anger is quite challenging, especially in the younger age group where verbal expression is limited, and emotional regulation is not yet developed. In this case, family attitude is particularly decisive in intervening in tantrums.

First and foremost, regardless of the child’s age, parents should maintain “calmness.” Then, they should be “patient” and “persistent,” and both parents and other caregivers should display a similar attitude during each tantrum.

In terms of preventing tantrums, “unconditional love” is undoubtedly necessary, and this is an indispensable parental attitude. In other words, we love our children not because they tidy their room or finish their meal, but unconditionally, without any conditions, and we need to make sure our child feels this. In opposite situations, sometimes when children fail to fulfil even the smallest condition, they may think that their parents do not love them, and they may even become more upset or afraid they won’t be loved, leading to more intense tantrums.

Another point is “respect.” Especially from the age of 2, we may need to respect that children have autonomy and have the right to express themselves, even in the simplest matters, such as having the right to choose.

For children aged 2-3, family characteristics are determinative in child behaviour. Because every child aged 2-3 may be temporarily stubborn, but if intense tantrums occur, it is necessary to examine the conflict between the child and the family. It should be considered that the child’s ability to stop themselves is limited, and empathy is undeveloped during this period. During this period, when the crisis begins, it should be remembered that their ability to stop themselves is limited, and empathy is undeveloped. Again, during this period, care should be taken to regulate important aspects of daily routine, such as regular sleep and eating habits. While habits like toilet training are being established, care should also be taken not to be coercive and to avoid serious conflicts with the child.

From the age of 3 onwards, children begin to socialise and understand social emotions, and others’ needs. Empathy skills start to develop around the age of 4. However, since this period still carries “self-centred” characteristics, children will continue to insist on their own desires. In this age group, parents should also approach children by taking into account that children’s judgment abilities are developing.

Talking about children’s feelings is an approach that can be applied to tantrums. In other words, the child may be experiencing negative emotions such as sadness, anger, resentment, fear, anxiety, or any other emotion. In this case, as parents, presenting the most appropriate emotion in the scenario to the child and ensuring that the child recognizes their emotion can reduce tantrums. Rather than focusing on and criticising negative behaviour in children, the first step is to appreciate positive behaviour.

When Should Professional Help Be Sought in This Matter?

If tantrums occur more frequently than expected for developmental stages, if the severity of tantrums is intense, if they cause harm to oneself or others, if they persist for a long time, if they occur in other settings outside the home such as nursery or preschool and pose a problem, families should seek help from a professional without delay. Sometimes, early-onset attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, intense impulsivity, attachment disorders, oppositional defiant disorder, difficulties related to sensory integration, childhood depression, or underlying developmental problems such as autism, intellectual disability, and many psychiatric disorders can lead to tantrums. In this case, it is necessary to consult a child psychiatrist, especially.

What Are Some Mistakes Families Make in This Matter?

Not remaining calm and composed is one of the biggest mistakes. Punitive approaches are at the bottom of the list when managing child behaviour when trying to establish discipline. If we immediately apply this last step without the child understanding their emotions or understanding which event led to the tantrum, tantrums become even more unmanageable. It is not appropriate to punish at the wrong time or frequently.

When a child is having a tantrum, becoming even angrier, shouting at the child, using derogatory language, hitting, or punishing them in any physical way is not appropriate. Sometimes, families may say things like “I don’t love you,” “You make me sick,” “Go be someone else’s child,” and similar words, even though they may not have any basis in reality. This is a form of emotional abuse, and the child may become even more traumatized and experience severe tantrums as a result. Additionally, the relationship based on secure attachment between the child and the parent is disrupted, which may not have immediate negative consequences but can exacerbate problems during adolescence, a developmental period characterized by separation and opposition to parents.

Another point is “inconsistent attitudes.” Both parents should react similarly to a behaviour. Consistency should not depend on the situation. For example, if we allowed a tantrum yesterday when we were in a good mood, it is not right to react excessively today because we are tired. Our own behaviour should also be consistent. Children who already have imbalances in regulating their emotions can be provided with the best example and support as “persistent, consistent, and patient.”